| SNOW CASTLE｜

hey, it's me, I'm coming back home to this snow castle...
last time I wrote in this blog was the very end of 2010, yeah you can see them from the previous post. It's been 3 years.
A lot of things about me changes. You see my wishlist? most of them have changed. The common ones remain the same because I haven't walked my life that much this 3 years, but things like University, dreams and idols, have changed. UI was my target, but I couldn't reach them. My dreams change a lot. Someone in Japanese TV show said, "dreams of people in their 15s 20s should change a lot. because that's a prove that they walk their life." Yes, that happened to me. I'll write about my dreams latter. Idol? I once love TVXQ so much, well even now I can't forget them. But they disbanded. For me TVXQ which is not 5 is not TVXQ. I'm sorry. A lot of fans must be angry with this thought, but, if they return to 5 again, I'll definitely be their fan. No, I'm still their fan. A fan of their existence back then.
See, people changes. but I don't think I'll edit the column, that is a trace.

Why am I thinking to start writing again here? Well, I have so many times lately. I'm senior in University now, I don't have so many classes to take, that leaves me so much free time. BUT, I have so many things to think. I feel like my head will blow up. My trip to Tokyo, Japan make me made up my mind about what I want to do after graduate from University. I already have this plan even from before, but now, I have drawn my way.
I plan to apply for scholarship to study in Tokyo, Japan as Research Student to the government, which if I try enough they might let me in their Master Degree. That will give me about 3 years to live in Tokyo. I am now, thinking to stay there to get employed, but I think this is something that I should decide latter. I have my parent left home, I need to think about them too. And, to be granted as a grantee, I need to prepare my self. The hardest one is waiting. I need to wait until the time comes to apply to the scholarship. It's next year. And in this one year period I need to, yeah, prepare my self. I need to make sure my Japanese skill is equal to N2. About this I plan to take JLPT N2 this December 2013. This is not an easy deal. I have to prepare my self alone, from books. I think I'm gonna stop going to my Japanese course because they rise their fee too many. My parent won't accept the deal.
Then English. English is not main for them so I thin I'm not going to push so hard about this.
Next thing I have in my mind is that I need to prepare a thesis plan. I plan to consult with my lecturer about this but, I'm not sure what kind of stuff that interest those people who'll give me the scholarship. They said the thesis abstract gives a lot of point.
Next one in my mind is that I need to find universities that will let me in by myself. I don't know what kind of qualifications I need to pass, what I need to prepare, what to do... and will even any university let me in? This one scares me. The administration stuff is pretty complicating, I just wonder will everything go smooth.
What scares me the most is that when I arrive there, the scenery, the views, the conditions I saw last month might not the same. That 2 weeks were a lot of happiness, a lot of beauty, a lot of dreams and a lot of memories. I'm so afraid. Well, I know that nothing will remain the same as time pass, me now just can't let it change. even memory is fading away. no matter how hard you protect and treasure them you won't be able to remember them as it was yesterday.

Me now, my memories and my dreams are my strength to walk.

Labels: Time Capsule

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